Narcotic

A time like this is a reminder of why I stay away from you intentionally...because, regardless of my demeanor, it's more apparent than ever just how much you truly mean to me. It's a love-hate type of thing; love having you in my sights, but hate some of the effects. It solidifies the fact that I have to add your name to a VERY SHORT list of regrets...

You're like that song on a CD that I can put in, press repeat, and let play all the way through. It takes me back to our first ever meeting, and from there, how it manifested, and grew...to something bigger than I ever imagined.

Not tryna feel this vulnerable any longer, so it may be best to go on, and fade to black. We'll say our respective greetings, then keep it moving, and resist the constant urge to wanna go back. I already experienced this with you once before, and I don't know if I have enough left to battle, and conquer another fight, but something has to give, or this will once again be the beginning of a series of sleepless nights..all because of the effects of you.

10/4/07 @ 2:48 A.M.

Photo by Thomas Hopson

The Awakening

Pondering these thoughts while sittin' at this desk. Exhausted as hell, yet, unable to rest. It could easily have been your teammate, or your closest friend. We're led to believe there's change, but this nightmare still has yet to end.

It's not about what we're doin' wrong. It's finally about what we're doin' right. Not how "The Dream" is dead, but how others have stepped to the plate, doin' their part to uphold the light.

It's ironic how some dismiss this as no big deal; simply conditioned to accept this form of treatment. It could just as well be your cousin, or your bigger brother. Then imagine being the one having to pick up the phone, and call this child's mother...and tell her she lost a son. But not to the streets; that's too predictable. But to a system much more malicious, and has him layin' dead at someone's cold and unforgiving feet.

If it affects one, then it affects all of us. And if it aint true, then try tellin' that to the folks who came from all over, and got on the bus...to take a stand, and make our points perfectly clear. It's what the opposition aint tryna see; all of us on one accord, and believe it or not, that's their BIGGEST FEAR.




9/20/07 @ 10:21 P.M.

Simplistic Beauty

Joy doesn't come from the obvious anymore; it comes from the little things. It aint gettin' the seven digits that make up her number anymore, excluding her area code. It's the smiles on both of our faces when one of us initially says hi, and the other eagerly says...hello.

Never been the one to keep up with the joneses; not the type that fits a certain brand, or a particular mold. It's why I'll go without shaving for weeks, the reason I love songs with no beat; it's why I'm filled with joy at the sight of this treat, and why I don't mind lookin' both ways before crossin' the street...

Girls in the videos don't do shit for me. Neither do the model types. Too pre-packaged, too manufactured, yet fail to live up to all the hype. Besides, it's havin' the juice to the baddest one on the scene one day, then strippin' down to no make-up, sweats, sneakers, and a tee, with ya hair lookin' ANY-WHICH-A-WAY....and still bein' fly as hell. It's the way your presence screams for attention, but you never have to open your mouth, and yell. It's why I'll continue to read your story, your words, and be receptive to anything you wanna share with me, because right now, there's no other place I'd rather be...

It's all because you the vision you bring; it's all because of your simplistic beauty.

9/12/07 @ 2:04 A.M.

Life's Puzzle

With any puzzle, there's an assortment of pieces. Some are pretty obvious, while others need to be sorted through, and can take a while. But once you've put 'em all together, you can finally breathe easier, spread your lips...and smile.

That's pretty much what life is; a big-ass puzzle we're tryna put together, and make sure it all fits. All the pieces have to go together perfectly, from the biggest ones, to the most overlooked bits. My missing pieces aren't people; got plenty of those. It's an event, something I can't quite put my finger on, so I'm payin' even closer attention, and hope I catch it before it passes by...and is totally gone.

With each passing day, hour, and minute, it seems like another piece emerges; something happens to bring this thing closer to it's finish. What may have seemed trivial before gets undivided attention now, and it's significance, I surely will not diminish.

Piecing our own puzzles together is a challenge that we all should take on, but don't; probably because we're afraid to lose, but Imma keep at it, and in the end, I'll be at peace, and will finally be able to set my life's controls on cruise...

9/2/07 @ 3:10 P.M.

Endless Strings

They’re the kinds of songs people listen to all day and night. The tunes are sweet, and never-ending. It’s something genuine and envied on by others who wish to duplicate it, but they’re fighting a battle that they’ll end up never winning.

There’s a reason why we play our guitar with endless strings; we can play a number of melodies, to which other people can listen to and sing. We can turn on our tunes outside, and watch birds take flight, and glide through the air, coolly flapping their wings. We’re the perfect collaboration, with people lining up by the dozens, just to hear our next duet, and type of music we’re gonna bring…

We play our tunes during cloudless times, and rainy sights; we let ‘em run their course during scorching days, and freezing nights. Our quality stays top-notch and is always second-to-none. Folks can try and replicate our hits, but will always fall short, regardless of how much studio time is bought, because we’re never under pressure to produce; we make our music out of pure joy and fun.

Give us any instrument, and the results will stay the same. Shit, you can make the choice for us; you can pick the product, the brand, and the name. Our music, the music we make, isn’t for sale, regardless of the amount of money you can bring. This music can only be performed by us, the tunes we compose, by playin' our endless strings…

8/27/07 @ 1:06 P.M.

Photo by Thomas Hopson

Patience

1. calm endurance of hardship.
2. tolerant perserverance of forbearance.
3. the capacity of calm, self-possessed waiting.

Presently, I am who I am, but not who I’ll always be; without patience, my chances are slim of becoming the complete image I’m constantly striving to be…

They say patience is a virtue; a trait you should acquire and take pride in. It’s one not easily attained, and is often taken for granted, from the beginning to the end. I’ve never understood why someone doesn’t have a lot of it, especially, when you see the good it brings. When you see the results from it, and when you hear the types of songs it sings; when you see the smiles it puts on people’s faces, and the sounds of it when it rings, and when you finally get what you’ve been seeking, all because you put it to use, and saw the effects it brings.

There’s something calm, cool, and collected about it, as if all this is stuff it’s already seen; I guess that’s why you can’t go wrong with it, because it’ll always keep your best intentions first, and never treat you cruel or mean. Now, more than ever before, patience is one of my virtues, a trait I’ll keep close, and practice on a daily basis, because as long as I have it, I’ll always have a chance, regardless of the circumstances, or any type of obstacles I’m facing.

Presently, I am who I am, but not who I’ll always be; but only through patience, will I have the chance of becoming the complete image I’m constantly striving to be…

8/20/07 @ 1:06 A.M.

Photo by Thomas Hopson

Stranded

At times, I feel stranded; even to the point of feelin' abandoned. It's like I'm a shell of myself, like I can see my figure, touch it, but can't do anything to help...

There are those times when a room can be filled with people, doin' a variety of things. It ranges from people laughin' recklessly, or sittin' quietly, while the band plays a tune, with one of 'em smoothly caressing their strings. All the while, I'm in there with 'em, in solitude and alone, but not entirely in peace; just lost in my own thoughts, and doin' my best not to cause any type of unnecessary scenes...

At times, I feel stranded; damn near to the point of feelin' totally abandoned, but not the type that you may see in the streets. Shit, you'd never be able to tell, because even while I may feel like this, I'll smile and speak at ya easily, without even missing a beat.

It's possible to feel alone, despite being in the midst of a crowd, and you may feel like seeking some help, but don't wanna come off as needy or too loud. Don't get to worrying too much, it's simply a reflection of how I get from time-to-time; a glimpse into my soul; a small journey in my tortured mind...

8/3/07 @ 9:56 P.M.

Photo by Thomas Hopson