To My Future: Epilogue of an Open Book

Note: You can only be so open, so vulnerable, before people begin to take it as weakness. Even though I know it aint in the case of me, this is a good point for me to reign it in...at least, in a public setting :-)

To My Future,
Hello there. I used to believe you only existed in my dreams, but reality really is this good, or so it seems. I've seen you around the way, and finally worked up the nerve to make a formal introduction, but with a lil twist, and as intimate as possible, minus any possible hint of seduction. Glad you gave me a second...

Am I worthy??? Of course, and that's with no trace of uncertainty. See, I already know what the past has to offer, and that...I'll respectfully decline. It wasn't totally filled with dark days, but I know with you, there'll be plenty of days of shine. And even when there isn't, and the conditions and times change, I'll be ready to adjust. And if you tell me to believe in you, I'll eagerly give you my never-ending trust.

What about the present??? Well, shit...oops. Excuse my french; didn't mean to be so crude, but hell, just look. This IS my present, right now, totally bare, and completely nude. The present's cool, but it aint you, that's for sure. It has its moments, but you...yours seem beyond beautiful, so genuine, and pure...

See, there are traces of both around, but that aint enough. When you get here for good, we'll ride it out together, regardless of how hard it gets, and the number of times it seems impossibly tough. You'll be worth it, worth every bit, every piece, and all those days, and sleepless nights will have finally paid off. When you come, I'll be prepared, and everything I have in stock, inventory, and on reserve...can finally be shared.

Until then, I'll continue to wait...even if it takes forever.

Sincerely,
Me.

12/17/07 @ 12:20 A.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri

The Stupid Things: Open Book Part Three

It's easy for people to reflect on when times are good; times when positive vibes rule above all. But there have been plenty of instances that were beyond stupid, incidents that made you wanna get off your feet, and crawl...and hide ya head in shame, and after that feeling, realizing I never again wanna be the instigator in this particular type of game...

"Shit, why even bother? She aint givin' up the pussy anyway." Even now, I still can't believe that came outta my mouth. It was just one of many instances that showed that that aint close to what being a real man is all about. It's not about how you look in front of your boy that makes you a man; it's treating everyone with respect, treating them like royalty, the way you know you can. The first step to recovery is admitting your mistake, and vowing to never do it again, and stay 100% real, while never doing anything that comes off as fake.

Or another time when I kicked you out my house...but I didn't even have a ride, so I walked, instead of gettin' in the car. Something like that makes ya think I must have camped out at Happy Hour, FOR REAL, and sipped every single drank they had in their bar. Pride'll do it every time, if you let it. Now that was just plain stupid, but something I can laugh about today, but it wasn't cool how I lashed out at you, because you never deserve that type of treatment, regardless of how things are goin' on any particular day.

Just two episodes of many, and there will be more to come. That's a fact of life, that'll always be. The key now is to make strides to eliminate the stupid things, so good ones will be the only things you'll ever see.

12/2/07 @ 1:04 P.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri