Dreams: A Statement

"Experience has taught me that you cannot value dreams according to the odds of their becoming true. Their real value is in stirring within us the will to aspire."
- Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Amazing

Last night, I was at the Liberation Tour, featuring Melonie Fiona, D'Angelo and starring Mary J. The three artists each had something to bring, in regards to the journey they're currently embarking on.

For Melonie Fiona, she's putting her name out there more and more, with people truly being receptive and appreciative of her work. It's only a matter of time before she's headlining her own show or, at the worst, the name right under the headliner. She's that good.

With D'Angelo, it's a lil' different. Now I am a HUGE D'Angelo fan and will defend just about every single action of his. I saw him at Essence and made every excuse in the book as to why his performance left much to be desired. The crowd wasn't really into it and, at times, it looked like he wasn't either. However, that certainly wasn't the case last night in Houston.

He was way more comfortable, confident and happy on stage than he appeared to be in New Orleans, and the crowd seemed to be much more alive, in tune and thrilled to see him. It's as if he and the crowd fed off each other's energy and it made for a terrific show.

Let's be real here: he's been gone for a long, long time and even though there are people who will love him no matter what, there is going to be a healthy dose of skepticism until the man shows he's ready to stick around a while. It's almost like seeing your dad show up at Christmas after not seeing him for years; you're happy he's there, you want him to stay, but events have conditioned you not to get too excited. Nonetheless, the love is there.

Mary closed the festivities, and for someone who likes Mary J. and has for a long time, even I was amazed by the power she has over her fan base. People chanted her name before she hit the stage, they stood on their feet through multiple numbers in her catalog and, as was the case with D'Angelo, the energy from her and the crowd was magical.

The crowd sang entire verses of her songs. Literally. She would just hold the mic out there and she didn't have to sing. Even with that, she still poured her all on the stage. That kind of vibe cannot be replicated. It was beautiful.

An emerging artist. One who is seeking to reclaim the trust of fans who love him to death, but may have one foot in the door and out due to his sabbaticals, and another who has come full-circle to enjoy the fruits of her constant labor. All were on display last night and all constructed narratives that were their own.

In life, we have similar moments and go down similar roads that the three artists I mentioned are traveling. I'm glad I was able to witness it all in person, for it was much more than just music. It was a look into my life, all of our lives, where we've been, where we're at and where each of us can head, respectively in our own journeys, if we're willing to stay the course.

9/4/12 @ 7:51 P.M.

Click.

It seems like, during this recent getaway, "it" clicked. That "it" that people talk about when things just...make sense. When you realize that merely being here, being good enough and having enough....isn't enough.

It's okay to want more, and apologizing for wanting more is crazy.

I'm not apologizing for wanting more.

I want more.

And it's time to go get it.

9/2/12 @ 6:02 P.M.

Let's Get It

Last night, I watched The Dream Team documentary, along with just about anyone else who had access to NBATV and is a lover of basketball. Something stuck out to me while watching: the ages of some of these guys.

Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley were 29 years old. 29! These guys were going around the world, doing what they loved, and representing their country. When they were doing it, I was only ten years old and happy to see my heroes playing.

Now that I am 29, it is humbling to see what can be done at that age with hard work, dedication, luck and more. When I say those things, especially the first two, it's more than anything that can be imagined. Oh, and you have to be incredibly talented, too.

Anyway, the documentary did something that I did not intend prior to watching. It's motivated me. It inspired me. I thought about it all night, right now, and will use this as fuel to accomplish any and every goal I have from now on.

There's no telling how much time God allows us to have on this Earth, and even though I've been satisfied with how my life has gone so far, last night showed me I have a long way to go...

6/14/12 @ 8:38 A.M.

Goals.

Time.

Photo courtesy of Ashley Lynn.

D.C.C. Part Two

The revolution will be live. - Brother Gil Scott-Heron

It's okay to be your biggest fan. However, you should never take yourself too serious. At one time, I did and, after life kicked me in the balls for a couple of years, I learned to laugh and smile at just about any and everything. Now I believe in my ability to make things happen, but it's done with a sense of lightheartedness and a peace of mind that I hadn't possessed before.

I still reads the paper every morning, eat the same breakfast (two sausage biscuits from MacDonald's), and gets to work 40 minutes early. It's not because I'm some great employee; it's so I can get myself going, and if I do like I always have done, walking into work right before it's "GO TIME," I won't be worth a damn.

After this weekend, I think I'm gonna hang in Siberia for a while; it means I gotta get to Rudy's sometime today, and hopefully get to the barbershop. I wish there was more exciting things to share from the past week. With that said, God is love, God is good, and when you know that's the case, that's really all the excitement I need.

Oh, and I'll be picking up this book next. Gotta keep my mind at ease, right? Right.

9/10/11 @ 1:27 P.M.

Post-shower thoughts

As is the daily routine, I wrapped up my workout at 24 and came back to the batcave to regroup. Well, that's always the plan, but it never works out that way. I tell myself to fix something to eat as soon as I get in, but I still don't end up eating until at least two hours after I'm done working out.

I tell myself to hop in the shower as soon as I walk through the door, but that doesn't happen, because I'm usually listening to Galloway and Company on the way home. It never fails; I get in, turn on 103.3, so I can keep listening to Mr. Randy, Ian, and Matt and then plop down to finish reading, or doing whatever else besides fixing something to eat or taking a shower.

Finally, I head to the shower, take what feels like the greatest shower of all-time, and as I'm drying off, something comes over me. It's a startling revelation, and once it hit me, it kinda calmed me down from the state of mind that I've been enveloped in for the past few weeks.

Things went exactly the way they did (close to two years ago), because they had to. You were at a job you hated everyday and absolutely did not want to be at. There were some days that were positive, but mostly, you didn't want to be there. You weren't prepared to quit, so you kept doing it. Eventually, they laid you off, and in that moment, while they were saying how much they regretted "having" to do it, it was one of the happiest times of your life, and looking back, it was best to absorb every bit of those feelings, every bit of being somewhere and doing something you hated for that long to know you never want to feel like that again.

There have been moments of frustration, anger, confusion, all the shit people go through every day. There have also been times of joy, happiness, and laughter despite the fact I've never been more broke in my life. It affects everything I do, which has been a blessing and a curse. Hell, it forces you to get creative. It's given me an unfathomable amount of free time. Seriously, there has been no reason for me to say "I can't or won't do this, because I don't have time." Shit, if there's one thing I've had plenty of over the last couple of years, it's time, and it's allowed me to do everything under the sun.

All of this is happening, because it has to. It doesn't make sense to stay pissed about it, which I've done a pretty decent job of not doing, although I have had my days recently of just shutting down. Sure, it gets annoying to look at the gas tank and wonder why it seems to live on E when I just filled the damn thing up a few days ago. Yeah, it gets old to have to scrap and find a way to fix something to eat like I'm back in undergrad again, but at the same time, it's humbling. It gets aggravating to apply for positions, reconfigure the ol' resume, type up a gazillion cover letters, only to get rejected, but in the words of The Great Negro Philosopher Ron Washington, "that's the way baseball go."

In previous years, I had no idea what I could do that would bring me joy and happiness everyday. I just knew there had to be more to life than working some punk-ass jobs and going through the motions, but since I didn't know what brought me joy, I kept working some punk-ass jobs and going through the motions. Now, I've figured it out, and I'm putting as much energy as possible into not only finding a job, but starting a career. Eventually, it'll work itself out, even if I don't know when that is.

I don't go out much anymore and have become even more of a hermit than I was when I had bread and was working all the damn time, but it feels like it's the right thing to do. It's just about going through this time and once things get better, with my gas tank staying on full, keeping bills up, being able to buy some sneakers, sending my mama and them some money just for the hell of it, or simply going out to a nice restaurant for dinner, I'll remember this as a chapter in my life that simply had to happen for it to be fully appreciated.

6/14/11 @ 6:42 P.M.

It's on.

Recently, I had a talk with my big brother down at SXSW (he's not my blood brother; dude simply has endless amounts of old-school wisdom, but he's still young enough to pass as my older brother). Anyway, he opened my eyes on how to proceed with some moves that I've been a part of for the past year, but never really thought of doing much more than what I had been doing.

Admittedly, I've always found it difficult to do something big, yet have something retain it's ultimate ability to be organic. However, that's something that, if you're good enough at what you do, you can find a way for it to never lose that trait; never lose its authenticity. It was a conversation that needed to be had.

Plus, it helps that's he's doing something similar, has faced some of his own concerns with doing what he's doing, and it has made what he does even bigger and just as authentic.

Moves will be made. All that was needed was a little push.

3/23/11 @ 11:36 A.M.

T.D.I.R. Part Three: Commitment

To some, the word is as daunting as its length; they see it, and automatically associate it with something too tough and can't be done. It's looked at as too much of an obstacle; something that can't possibly be won. It's seen as a concept that only applies when dealing with something else, whether it's a person, a job, or something so good, it has to be from kind of dream. Little do they know it's much more internal in nature, more than they've ever seen.

People walk away from stuff everyday, and why? The reasons are numerous and just as vast. Maybe the return they put in is coming slow, when it was expected to be quick and fast. Perhaps society deems it okay to just give up, which also explains why the elite, in any walk of life, consists of a select few. Whether it's music, family, sports, or any other endeavor, the desire to try, improve, flourish, and succeed in their eyes clearly outweighs an inconvenience or two.

Plus, there's a personal sense of fulfillment that comes with commitment; finding a way to get it done and persevere. Speak it into existence and keep at it, and before you know it, your destination will come into focus and the finish will be near.

9/24/10 @ 3:59 P.M.

T.D.I.R. (Turning Dreams into Reality)

It takes a lot to allow yourself to let go and dream.

You have to remove yourself from the reality, the usual occurences, and how they seem.

Thing is...as cool as it is to dream, how much better would it be to make those same dreams come true?

In order to do so, it'll take a lot more lettin' go than I've ever been used to...

...but I'm willing to try.

9/6/10 @ 12:49 A.M.

At The Moment

I haven't written in a while, because there's been an inability for me to formulate thoughts, visions, hopes, and feelings into words that are worth reading.

It's coming, though. It has to.

Be easy.

2/27/10 @ 5:13 PM

Photo by Clifton Henri

Hawaii

You wanna go somewhere peaceful and calm; yet, you left it at that. Maybe it'll serve as therapy, to help your motivation get on track. We all need to step away sometimes, whether it's in our mind, or, in your case, somewhere far away. For your sake, it needs to happen soon, so peace can return to the rest of your days.

But lets be real: there's a lil bit of Hawaii in you already, and anyone with clear enough vision has been exposed. It's in the way you carry yourself, and the manner in which you remain composed. If funds are an issue, life will find a way for them not to be...especially since the time is now for you to experience your own paradise, kinda similar to the ones we already see.

Taking the trip in your thoughts is cool, but this one's gonna require a lil more. The need will have you get on a plane, while having an attendant asking you if you want a drink, even if it's one you've had countless times before. Get on that island, and experience it all, and make sure to take in the view. Experience all the peace and calm it brings, and think about nobody else but you.

8/24/09 @ 10:36 P.M.