Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Is That a Friend of Yours? Nah, Just Somebody I Know.

There's a line in Devil in a Blue Dress that's so simple, yet it packs a punch. Easy was choppin' it up with Joppy, when a dude walks into Joppy's bar to chop it up with the both of 'em. When the dude leaves, Easy (played by Denzel) and Joppy (played by Mel Winkler) share a brief, but unforgettable exchange:

Easy: "Who's that, Joppy? A friend of yours?"

Joppy: "Just somebody I know."

Now, some people may look at that, and ask why I make such a huge deal about those simple words. My answer: because it's true. Joppy didn't mean it in a bad way; he just meant that ol buddy is someone who knows his name, and vice-versa. They're not friends, and that's cool.

I've been fortunate to have people I can call friends, and I've also been fortunate enough to have people I know; at this stage of living, it's easy for me to decipher the two. However, the common thread is this: they all get equal respect from me. I don't respect a friend more than I respect someone I know. Now, I will give a friend more time than just someone I know, but that's because friendship is earned, while you can just know a motherfucker, ya know? I don't see that as constituting a lack of respect. Respect isn't something that's a tangible (see/touch/taste/smell/hear) quality. That's just me; it's how I was raised (parents), how I've been bred (Willie McCullough), and how I choose to live my life. I'll do other fucked-up shit from now til I die, but I can find peace in knowing I respect everyone fully, from jump.

Now things can transpire during interaction with people, and that's the part I'm working on correcting; tryna be less of an asshole when things don't go my way, and be more humble instead; tryna watch the urge to cuss a motherfucker out, and instead listen to where they're coming from, respect it, digest it, and if things continue down an undesirable road, then depart peacefully (whether the departure is us hanging up the phone, leaving each other's presence for a short time, or even for good). Even if we disagree, then at least we're doing it in peace. I'm all for confrontation, but I don't wanna do that all the time. Lord knows it's been a test, but it's one thing to say it, and another thing to do it...and right now, I'm doin' it.

I don't know; maybe this shit isn't making any sense. Just needed to vent. Wooosah....

Be easy.

"Simpler Times" photo by Clifton Henri


Sunset Brown said...

I didnt know where to leave randon comments so Ill just leave it here. I love your blog and Im sorry We (the Packers) had to whoop up on the Cowboys! Peace

Kandia said...

I like this train of thought and I agree...just because you happen to know someone doesn't make'em a friend. Like people at work I would classify more in the acquaintance category and then there's people you can actually call a friend....makes a lot of sense.

Kidada78 said...

LOVES it!! I am working on peaceful exits, letting go before anger builds.. Although, sometimes some folks need a good cussing.