Monday, January 24, 2011

B.T.K. (Before the Kiss)

Blistering thoughts...jumbled emotions, yet...you play it cool. Everything is going on internally, and if you're cool enough, those emotions are all kept in check. Your recipient is just as eager as you; the anticipation is brief, but it still seems like an eternity. What's taking so long?

Trepidation...what if they pull away? What if the fear of the unknown outweighs the desire to just relax and let loose? While all these questions are being asked internally, the opportunity to have them answered in the affirmative are slowly slipping away...

Kick...kick it all away. The blistering thoughts, the trepidation; just throw it out the window. Everything else is going right. There's nothing else to hide, and no more questions to ask. If it doesn't happen this moment, it's noone's fault but ours for letting this opportunity pass.

We've all been there, one time or another, whether we were the initiator or the recipient. To live life long enough is to experience a wonderful, yet peculiar feeling such as this. It's the contradiction, fear, enthusiasm, and excitment of the actions...before the kiss.

1/19/11 @ 1:14 A.M.

Photo by _bobz_

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Relax.

The only hiccup, bump in the road, and stumbling block that comes with being at peace is that there is literally nothing to convert from thoughts to prose. The idea is to just let the words come out with no signs of straining or doing the most. No need to rhyme; no desire for them to be clever. They just need to come to the surface...like they used to before. They may come slowly, or immediately, but they would always come. Always.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
~Ernest Hemingway


To be continued...

Photo by Kristin Corrine Loy

1/19/11 @ 12:45 A.M.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Old and Boring

12 days into the new year, and I'm convinced I'm the most predictable 28-year-old man this side of The Mississippi (I've always wanted to use "this side of the Mississippi" to describe something, so there).

To be honest though, I'm not complaining one bit. I love being old and boring. It's kinda liberating, actually, even if boring and liberating seems like an oxymoron. Besides, after meeting Pam Grier last year, that was all the excitement I needed for the rest of my life. I'll be old and boring for the rest of my days, and anytime I feel the need to have some excitement, I'll think back to gettin' to meet Sheba, and since I never got around to putting this picture up at the time, BAM!!!!! (good Lord, she's STILL FINE.)

An example of this was my recent journey with my beard. I went 98 days without shaving or getting a haircut. It didn't start out that way, but hell; after a while, I just didn't worry about getting a cut or shaving. When I wanted to go out, it never scared women off too much. Shit, some actually dug The Cast Away Look. Who knows, maybe one day I'll resurrect The Beard, but for now, it's back to the normal look.

I haven't written much poetry lately, because...well, there's nothing to write about. The last time I wrote endlessly turned into so many poems about the same woman that they coulda filled up a whole damn book. Once that came to pass, I wrote about whatever else was on my mind. These days, though? Nada. When it comes, it comes.

My current mindstate is that of an appreciative man and one that's just...at ease. I have a list of books that need reading. At one time, I wouldn't read anything but Black authors, and I would scream at anyone who attempted to recommend fiction to me, but that's not so much the case anymore. I've read Huck Finn and To Kill a Mockingbird already, but that was years ago, so I figure now is as good a time as any to re-visit them. By the time I get to The Godfather, I'm sure I'll be ready to go back to autobiographies, books about particular periods in time, or whatever.

I'm convinced I have never been more at peace than I am now. Anytime I write on this site, which will hopefully be more than I did last year, I just feel at ease. Twitter is where I just have fun, cut up, cuss like crazy, and do whatever, and Facebook is cool, but this is much more slowed down; kinda like the end of your day, when you just take your shoes off, stretch, and walk around the house butt-naked with music playing in the background and drinkin' a glass of Simply Lemonade. Not that I do that sort of thing; well, yes I do, but it makes me happy.

So yeah; I'm gonna write more. Even if it's just a random thought (a la the Thoreau quote that STILL stumps me), or more extensive words, I'm gonna do it, but it can't be forced. Never that. It has to be authentic, or it's a waste of time.

1/12/11 @ 3:36 AM

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Matters of The Heart

The heart is forever inexperienced. - Thoreau

I saw this quote in a tweet about a week ago, and it's stumped me ever since, basically because I disagree with it. Then again, I don't know the context of the quote, which I have been searching for.

I'll look harder; explicitly as well as internally.

1/9/11 @ 1:00 A.M.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Clear (Thoughts from the Lake)

It took something that comes rarely to realize how much I'm truly at peace.

At one time, the sight of something so rare would have pushed thoughts of you to the surface, and had my mind scrambled, just to say the least.

Sure, thoughts came, but it was more of a signifier that things are cool now, sights can be seen, and they can be done with no trepidation, doubt, or fear.

It's never felt better to have complete and total harmony, with everything in place and my outlook and soul totally clear.

12/21/10 @ 2 something in the morning.

Photo courtesy of Jeremy Biggers

Monday, December 20, 2010

My Seven Day Social Media Sabbatical

Consider me a slave to all things social media.

When you look at Facebook, Twitter, text messaging, BBM, e-mail, and the internet, I, along with people similar to me in use and frequency, are Public Enemy Number One. At one time, the first thing I would do in the morning, before brushing my teeth or washing my face, was to roll over, turn on my laptop or check my phone, and get my social media fix in.

Then, last week happened.

For seven days (and inspired by a high school teacher’s challenge to his students to give up social media for a week), I attempted to do The Impossible: for seven days, I would use NO FORM of electronic social media: no e-mail, no text messaging, no internet, no Facebook, Twitter, nothing.

All temptations were done away with. The Facebook, Twitter, and BBM apps were removed from my phone, I packed away my laptop, and thus, my journey began.

Monday was probably the hardest day. The first thing I did when I woke up was roll over to turn on the laptop, but it wasn’t there. The second thing I did was pick up my phone to check e-mail, but as soon as I remembered what Monday signified, checking e-mail wasn’t an option either.

After Monday, Tuesday wasn’t much easier, but it was done. After that, the following days were the quietest, peaceful, and liberating days I’ve had in years; seriously.

It was fun talking to people on the phone again, even though some people just had to make sure the journey had its challenges. By that, I mean when someone would text me to say something or ask a question, I would pick up the phone and call them instead. Sometimes, people would make me mad, because they would text, I would call back, they wouldn’t answer, but they would send me ANOTHER doggone text. In a time where I would communicate with more people than I could think of (due to Facebook chat, texting, or Twitter), the people I spoke with last week were much smaller in number, but it was on a more personal scale. We held conversations with each other. Things didn’t seem to be in such a hurry. It was relaxing. It was cool. It was fun.

When I wanted show times for a movie, I had to find a phone book, and since the last phone book I have is from 2004, I had to drive up to the theater or dial information to get times for the movies. What can be considered an inconvenience to some was ironically funny to me. What made things even more of a pain was the newspapers didn’t list every local theater like they used to. It’s almost like they’ve adopted the belief that “aye, it isn’t like folks check the paper for the movies any-damn-way, so we don’t have to include them all.” That part sucked, but it was understood.

I read the newspaper damn near every day and was cool getting the news on a daily basis instead of a minute-to-minute basis as is the case online. I spent a lot of time at Barnes and Noble, and in between running through Public Enemies (the book based off the movie), I did a lot of people-watching. It was just cool to sit back and seem like nothing was rushed at all; hell, it felt like the old days. Everything was so personal. Gone was "LOL," "OMG," "hahahahahaha," or any other abbreviated expression. In their place was emotion that was just...I'll put it like this; you could see the expression from people when you talk to them one-on-one, as opposed to communicating online. Take from that what you will.

The only parts that sucked about not using any social media for the week was not being able to tell people how dope the Marsha Ambrosius concert was on Saturday night, or not being able to communicate about the state championships, or being able to update my status during the Cowboys game yesterday (well, considering how pathetic they were, that may have been good to be away from here, because my status updates would have been littered with condescension, confusion, and cuss words). Also, not being able to check ETSF was tough, but all hail Ed for holding down the fort and handling that aspect of the site for the week.

With all that said, The Tall Philosopher, Slim Charles, said it best when he uttered the words, “the thing about the old days…they the old days,” and the man was telling the complete and total truth. I don’t know if I can do much in moderation when it comes to social media, but it was certainly an experience to give it up cold turkey for a week. Hell, maybe I’ll do away with the text messaging plan Sprint has me on, and save myself $15 a month. Either way, it’s something that I would encourage everyone to try, and just see how far society has come in such a short time. You never know; the realization that the smallest things are taken for granted may even come to the surface.


12/20/10 @ 11:11 A.M.

Monday, December 13, 2010

My Social Experiment

Recently, I was watching the news, and there was a report about social networking. The premise was students were challenged by one of their teachers to go one week with no social networking. The idea is to see what life was like not that long ago. I really don't feel like re-hasing the entire thing, so if you're in the mood to read it, feel free to click the link below:

Students try one week with no Facebook, Texting

After seeing it, I started to wonder just how much different life would be right now if I was to do away with social media for one week, and take a trip down memory lane, when all of these tools were not at my disposal. With that being said, starting today, I will go one week without using the following:

No e-mail
No texting
No Facebook
No Twitter
No BBM
No internet

Basically, the only thing I'll use my phone for is to talk. That's it. The Facebook and Twitter ones will be easy, but the others will be hard as hell. Just from habit, I'm used to rolling over and turning on my laptop and checking my texts, e-mails, and BBMs. Nothing is impossible, though, and it's really something that's intriguing me. Folks always talk about how impersonal communication has become, so taking a trip back in time will be interesting...to say the least.

We'll see how it goes, and this time next week, I'll report back with my perspective.

12/13/10 @ 1:47 A.M.