Lately

Lately, I've...

realized the difference between a friend and just someone you know. It's difficult to know that union is no more, instead of watching it continue to grow. With just a lil more work, it probably could have been restored and saved; kinda like a road that was once littered with holes, but now it's totally smooth and paved. Too bad we didn't try harder, and for that, I'll take a majority of the blame. You already know who you are, so there's no need to mention your name. Just know, there are those days, when you remain in my thoughts...

Lately, I've...
seen people come and go, for a variety of reasons. Maybe it was a bad period, just wasn't their favorite time of the season. Here today, gone tomorrow; sometimes, it feels good, while others, it leaves you with sorrow. It's good, because they're moving on to a better situation, one where they feel they can continue to shine. Bad, because there's that gut feeling that something just aint right, regardless of how many times they said "don't even trip; I'm doin' just fine."

I like to think everyone has a method to their madness, a formula to why we do what we do. In the end, it may be for the best, and in their heart, they're simply staying true. Either way, it's all a part of life, something we all, by now, should know. But it still hurts sometimes...when good people decide it's about that time to go.

7/31/07 @ 5:42 P.M.

I think we all have our different sides that makes us who we are, an alter-ego, of sorts. Hell, TI's even made it marketable to express it, with his latest album (TI VS TIP). It doesn't necessarily make us crazy or throwed off; if anything, it makes us more sane, and exposes our vulnerability (which is NOT synonymous with weakness). With that said, on my mind right now is relationships between men and women. In the words of the great philosopher, Brooks Hatlen (the old, White prisoner in the Shawshank Redemption), "the world went off, and got itself in a big damn hurry." I'm sayin' that, because it seems like people think jumpin' into a relationship cures all ills, and if not everything, damn near all of 'em.

Personally, I've been in one exclusive relationship my entire life (2003). I've never really been the type of dude to think a relationship solves everything, between a man and a woman. I see people hop in and out of relationships all the damn time, and when I see that, it's aggravating, and even worse, I end up feelin' sorry for that person, because they really have the concept twisted up.

I think everyone should experience heart-break one good time, so they know true love does exist, and that love is indeed real. All the intangibles, the stuff that aint in the "how-to" books, can only be gained through experience, and even...through pain. It shouldn't scar them for life, but it should be used as a learning tool. For the ones who have found their true love the first time around, and are with them right now, and have never been hurt by that person, more power to you, and I PRAY that you never have your heart broken, because I honestly don't think you'll be able to recover from it, not at my age. After I got mine broke, I was so scared to give my all to anyone else that I just hurt people, thinking I was protecting my feelings. In retrospect, it was foolish, but it's all apart of my growth and maturity. I was 20 years old, a scared lil boy at the time, so just imagine the episodes since then. If I was to experience my first heartbreak NOW, at 24, aint no tellin' how I'd be able to recover, so I'm glad it happened early.

There's a side of me that truly believes in love, true love, authentic love, and that it does exist between two people, and I know it'll happen for me one day, when it's time. That side is the one you'll probably be exposed to the most in this blog. Then, there's the other side that laughs at people who THINK they're in love, but they're really just enamored by the IDEA of love, and not that person, which will eventually lead to a road going downhill.

To sum this all up, love is REAL. I believe it does exist between two people, so you'll never hear me curse love to hell, bash it to the point of no return, and all that other madness. When it's genuine, it's the greatest feeling in the world. With that said, don't be in such a damn rush to get it; when it comes, it'll be well worth the wait.