Song in Progress: Open Book Part Two

I'm searching for peace, in a valley full of chaos; looking for serenity, amongst this place full of endless noise, discomfort, and inconsistent strife. You'd think these would be the thoughts of someone who's losing their mind, but I tend to think they're simply the ones of someone who's just tryna make the most of their life.

See, the need for serenity comes from self-inflicting noise; it comes from no longer wanting to be cool with the way things used to be. Things have slowly, but surely, started to change, and the changes, I can most definitely see. But there's still a LONG WAY to go, before this song will ever be complete...

I've started to think...our days are a rough draft...almost..like practice. Lord willing, we're able to wake up tomorrow, and pick up where we left off, and do better than we previously had done. Patch up the errors, and go back at it, until those mistakes become slim-to-none.

So right now, these days of mine are like my own lil rough drafts; the plan is there, the tools are available for re-vision, and the excitement to finish this song is the type that's never been experienced before. The journey gettin' there will be even better; then the chaos, endless noise, discomfort, and strife...will be no more.

11/28/07 @ 12:27 A.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri

Open Book

My life is an open book for all who are willing to read. Some elements are familiar; just like your stories, filled with characters, and plenty of memorable scenes.

But there are some parts that aren't as attractive, and just aren't as nice. The times when I didn't know where I was headed, times when it seemed like there would never be an end to those long, excruciating nights. Episodes that played like re-runs, with no hope of a new season in sight. Someone would come in for the occasional cameo, then would be gone, just like on any regular show. So, it was back to square one, frustrated with another one ending the same, and realizing that I'm the common element in these endings, and it was really just my foolish ways that needed to "exit stage left," and go.

But all isn't entirely bad. There have been plenty of good things; plenty of fun times. Plenty of days where all flows together beautifully, and everything seems to fit together, and rhyme...and be in tune, more than enough days with sunshine, and just as many nights with nothing in the sky but a full moon. My favorite stories from people leave me plenty to think over; it isn't just thrown on the surface for me to see. If a mind is open and fertile enough to accept mine, they won't even have to ask if it's them that I'm talkin' about, because it probably will be.

And there are still questions that need to be answered, and for that, I'll dig endlessly, and get to the root of it, and since this is my most effective form of therapy, I'm eager to do so, even if I'm only finding solace bit, by every little bit...

11/24/07 @ 1:18 P.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri

Renovation

1. Overhaul.

2. Make something like new again.

3. Refresh somebody or something.

Some things gotta change, while others need a lil' fine tuning. It's impossible for everything to remain the same, especially, with the way the world's going. Finally realized it's time to make some changes, and even if it aint on the surface just yet, the differences are already showing.

It's kinda like when you construct a masterpiece out of items that seem to be taken for granted. When they're all used together, something extraordinary can emerge. If they're picked and used with care, there's no reason to resort to cheap shit, or use unnecessary capital to splurge. See, this project is similar to what we all see, every single day. Like the stadium currently in process, or when a coupla roads need fixin'; the things you need to do it are right there in front of you, so no need for too much searching, because you already know what you're missin'.

Just like any project that seems like it may take forever, this may just seem like a bundle of mess; may not seem like much just yet. But give it some time, and you'll be blown away for sure, and on MY LIFE, I'll most definitely make the bet...

10/14/07 @ 12:35 P.M.

Narcotic

A time like this is a reminder of why I stay away from you intentionally...because, regardless of my demeanor, it's more apparent than ever just how much you truly mean to me. It's a love-hate type of thing; love having you in my sights, but hate some of the effects. It solidifies the fact that I have to add your name to a VERY SHORT list of regrets...

You're like that song on a CD that I can put in, press repeat, and let play all the way through. It takes me back to our first ever meeting, and from there, how it manifested, and grew...to something bigger than I ever imagined.

Not tryna feel this vulnerable any longer, so it may be best to go on, and fade to black. We'll say our respective greetings, then keep it moving, and resist the constant urge to wanna go back. I already experienced this with you once before, and I don't know if I have enough left to battle, and conquer another fight, but something has to give, or this will once again be the beginning of a series of sleepless nights..all because of the effects of you.

10/4/07 @ 2:48 A.M.

Photo by Thomas Hopson

The Awakening

Pondering these thoughts while sittin' at this desk. Exhausted as hell, yet, unable to rest. It could easily have been your teammate, or your closest friend. We're led to believe there's change, but this nightmare still has yet to end.

It's not about what we're doin' wrong. It's finally about what we're doin' right. Not how "The Dream" is dead, but how others have stepped to the plate, doin' their part to uphold the light.

It's ironic how some dismiss this as no big deal; simply conditioned to accept this form of treatment. It could just as well be your cousin, or your bigger brother. Then imagine being the one having to pick up the phone, and call this child's mother...and tell her she lost a son. But not to the streets; that's too predictable. But to a system much more malicious, and has him layin' dead at someone's cold and unforgiving feet.

If it affects one, then it affects all of us. And if it aint true, then try tellin' that to the folks who came from all over, and got on the bus...to take a stand, and make our points perfectly clear. It's what the opposition aint tryna see; all of us on one accord, and believe it or not, that's their BIGGEST FEAR.




9/20/07 @ 10:21 P.M.

Simplistic Beauty

Joy doesn't come from the obvious anymore; it comes from the little things. It aint gettin' the seven digits that make up her number anymore, excluding her area code. It's the smiles on both of our faces when one of us initially says hi, and the other eagerly says...hello.

Never been the one to keep up with the joneses; not the type that fits a certain brand, or a particular mold. It's why I'll go without shaving for weeks, the reason I love songs with no beat; it's why I'm filled with joy at the sight of this treat, and why I don't mind lookin' both ways before crossin' the street...

Girls in the videos don't do shit for me. Neither do the model types. Too pre-packaged, too manufactured, yet fail to live up to all the hype. Besides, it's havin' the juice to the baddest one on the scene one day, then strippin' down to no make-up, sweats, sneakers, and a tee, with ya hair lookin' ANY-WHICH-A-WAY....and still bein' fly as hell. It's the way your presence screams for attention, but you never have to open your mouth, and yell. It's why I'll continue to read your story, your words, and be receptive to anything you wanna share with me, because right now, there's no other place I'd rather be...

It's all because you the vision you bring; it's all because of your simplistic beauty.

9/12/07 @ 2:04 A.M.

Life's Puzzle

With any puzzle, there's an assortment of pieces. Some are pretty obvious, while others need to be sorted through, and can take a while. But once you've put 'em all together, you can finally breathe easier, spread your lips...and smile.

That's pretty much what life is; a big-ass puzzle we're tryna put together, and make sure it all fits. All the pieces have to go together perfectly, from the biggest ones, to the most overlooked bits. My missing pieces aren't people; got plenty of those. It's an event, something I can't quite put my finger on, so I'm payin' even closer attention, and hope I catch it before it passes by...and is totally gone.

With each passing day, hour, and minute, it seems like another piece emerges; something happens to bring this thing closer to it's finish. What may have seemed trivial before gets undivided attention now, and it's significance, I surely will not diminish.

Piecing our own puzzles together is a challenge that we all should take on, but don't; probably because we're afraid to lose, but Imma keep at it, and in the end, I'll be at peace, and will finally be able to set my life's controls on cruise...

9/2/07 @ 3:10 P.M.