Perception isn't always reality

Even when it looks like I'm doing nothing, best believe I'm doing something...

2/27/11 @ 2:11 A.M.

More doubt, new challenges, and other randomness

Well, you know that whole doubt thing? Yeah, it's still there. Granted, it's not at the level that it was the last time I posted about it, but it's still there. I'm making one last-ditch effort to see if the road I'm heading on is the one I'm supposed to be heading on right now. If so, great. If not, then hey; I'll live. Lemme stop lyin'. If this doesn't work out, I'm gonna be beyond devastated.

In the meantime, I'm picking up Spanish. For one, I've wanted to learn for quite a while, and if there's one thing I have a lot of, it's time. Two, it'll help just to know another language to shoot the breeze and have conversations with even more folk. I've been at it for about a week and a half now. I don't really have a time limit as to when I wanna have it down. Hell, the way I see it, there are still words in the English language I'm learning every day.

I've been posting a lotta love/romance songs lately (Facebook), but that's because KSOUL and KRNB jam, and, outside of ESPN Radio from 2-6 P.M., that's pretty much all I listen to.

The older I get, the more I'm fascinated about the simple things about women (her walk, look, non-verbal cues, etc). The normal stuff doesn't do it as much for me anymore, and as much as I love a big butt and nice chesticles...that's really all they are now. If my attention isn't captured by more than that fairly quick, then hey *shrugs* Yup, I'm getting more boring by the minute.

It also means that some may not know how to respond to my brand of conversation. Granted, there is some flirtation in there, but there isn't much else I wanna do these days other than make a woman smile, and go on about my day.

2/23/11 @ 1:09 A.M.

Malcolm X Appreciation Day.

No matter what's going on on February 21st, it's made a priority by me to make sure to pay homage to one of my heroes, Malcolm X, on this very day. Granted, I do my best to live by some of the principles he expressed that I feel like are directed towards me each and everyday, but on this particular day, the day he was assassinated, it's about sharing that with the masses.

Long live Malcolm X.

Doubt

A couple of events transpired recently that made me, for the first time in about ten years, wonder if I'm cut out for the road I am currently on. It's one thing to be told you're not needed or wanted in certain avenues, and after a while, you get used to it, and you really accept it as a fact of life.

However, when you go a different route, one that you just feels like the way to go, even with the hardships, uncertainty, and challenges that are sure to come, and it STILL doesn't work out? Well, it's not only humbling, but it's deflating.

Oh well; as always, the only thing to do is trust in God, because, whether it's for good or for bad, He always knows what He's doing.

2/7/11 @ 1:19 A.M.

Photo by Michael P. Whelan

Journey into the unknown

Usually when you don't know the outcome of how an event will go, it leads you to leave well enough alone. It can have the look of something amazing, with all the ingredients needed to reach ecstasy, joy, and an unmatched thrill. Even with that, odds can still be stacked and a person's feelings, as well as other factors, keep you from going in for the kill.

Sure, you've seen bits and pieces of the unknown, but you have yet to dive in head-first. There's a certain level of apprehension, even while knowing plunging in will certainly quench your thirst.

It's worth the shot, which is why the desire to find out what lies behind the door outweighs the possibility of awkwardness, uncertainty, or things going awry. Besides, something says this will be so good, we'll leave speaking in French, Spanish, and Portugese of the reminders we left behind. That's right; it'll be so real, we'll learn dialects we never knew before, and once we're done, we'll do it again, so we can learn two or three more.

If you're ready for a journey into the unknown, relax your mind, and we'll go...and before we know it, the unknown will be just the opposite, where nothing but good times will certainly flow.

2/2/11 @ 7:26 P.M.

Photographer Unknown

The Moment

When the moment came, it was...to say the least, worth the wait. The fact that our lips were so close wasn't a shock, yet the events that transpired certainly were not planned. Regardless of the way it happened, there's no doubt her lips felt like the perfect place to land.

When they did land, everything else took course. My hands found a way to glide smooth across her waist, while the heat from her body would steadily rise. The moment was frozen in time, and even as our bodies moved, everything else seemed to be paralyzed. When our lips did separate, it was more of an acknowledgment that the moment was too good to be true...yet there was little time in-between to be apart, because there was so much more to do.

The moment may as well been broken down in scenes; from the way her head tilted back to the way her body leaned. Tongues glided in each other's mouths with the smoothest of ease. There was zero hesitation, realizing this was our moment to seize, and as the acts continued, there was no doubt both of us were left satisfied and thoroughly pleased.

All this over a kiss? Something some of us have done for ages found a way to have an impact that was as strong as any act of sex. With that said, if the initial moment was that good, there's no telling what can be expected next...

1/24/11 @ 1:27 A.M.

B.T.K. (Before the Kiss)

Blistering thoughts...jumbled emotions, yet...you play it cool. Everything is going on internally, and if you're cool enough, those emotions are all kept in check. Your recipient is just as eager as you; the anticipation is brief, but it still seems like an eternity. What's taking so long?

Trepidation...what if they pull away? What if the fear of the unknown outweighs the desire to just relax and let loose? While all these questions are being asked internally, the opportunity to have them answered in the affirmative are slowly slipping away...

Kick...kick it all away. The blistering thoughts, the trepidation; just throw it out the window. Everything else is going right. There's nothing else to hide, and no more questions to ask. If it doesn't happen this moment, it's noone's fault but ours for letting this opportunity pass.

We've all been there, one time or another, whether we were the initiator or the recipient. To live life long enough is to experience a wonderful, yet peculiar feeling such as this. It's the contradiction, fear, enthusiasm, and excitment of the actions...before the kiss.

1/19/11 @ 1:14 A.M.

Photo by _bobz_