Thursday, December 31, 2009

Sometimes When You Win, You Actually Lose, and Sometimes When You Lose, You Actually Win

Note: This is a quote that was uttered by the beautiful and fine-ass philosopher, Rosie Perez, in White Men Can't Jump. Also, excuse the length of the title. I know there's a forbidden rule of having more than twelve words in a title, but this isn't APA, so who cares?

Have you ever gained clarity through losing something? Folks tend to look at loss as a negative, but it can actually work out favorably, if it's put in a proper perspective. It isn't easy to view loss in that way, and it takes maturity, and a level of humility to do it, but if you can, it certainly helps to deal with the way life works. Two things happened this year, that pretty much sums up this quote for me. Earlier this year, a friend of mine was killed, and at the time, I didn't really know how to cope with losing someone who did so much good, while doing the small things people taken for granted. In her loss, I gained the urgency to be courteous to EVERYONE in sight. That's what she was able to do, which is partly why she was loved by so many people.

The second was losing my job, which was immediately easier to cope with, in all honesty. Even though I lost the job, I gained the importance of doing something you love doing, as opposed to simply getting a check. It looks easier said than done, but from first-hand experience, it's so much more fulfilling to pursue your passion, and if it comes at the expense of not having as much money, who gives a shit? Trust, I made decent money, but I was KILLING my spirit everyday, because I was doing something I hated. Plus, money has always been boring to me anyway, but when you make a lil bit of it, it can be easy to lose focus. I was winning, but I was still losing. So when the layoff came (which was the day after The Thriller died), I actually won. For one, God got me out of a situation that was internally toxic for me, and two, I got a chance to go back home, and watch Michael Jackson videos all day. Anyway, some people say "fake it 'til you make it," but that phrase just doesn't do it anymore, because I've been there.

Happiness and serving a purpose come first now. Money will follow, but I had to lose first, in order to understand the meaning. This year may be memorable for some, because of loss, but if you can try to gain some insight from each situation, you can still win. The only reason I've been able to look at everything that's happened this year, without losing my mind, is because of that man they call GOD, and because of Him, I've never been more at peace.

Be easy.

12/22/2009 @ 2:19 P.M.


Riem said...

I'm sorry about your lost in both instances. I'm glad that you were able to gather some insight from them. You're right, IT IS so much more fulfilling to pursue your passion. If that is what you are doing, good for you.

Like you, I lost a friend this past year. To be more specific, I lost two close friends in a span of one month. One was buried on my birthday actually. To the outside world, I was coping beautifully, but inside, I was crumbling and suffering; yet, I didn't seek help. Rather, I allowed myself to sink into depression. I've learned that it's okay to grieve, that it's okay to ask for a hand, and that it's okay to cry. Openly. The most important lesson I've learned however: life is not promised. Carpe diem never rang truer.

Btw, your writing is exceptional.

Don said...

i understand and can appreciate this post in more ways than one. last year was a rainy day for me as well. yet, in perspective, it appears to have been one of my brighter years.


because i didn't necessarily lose per se (besides the senseless murder of someone who has been like a brother to me, it hurts deeply. this after we lost his mom the year before).

...i simply failed to gain the things which surely awaited me.

at this point, like yourself, i feel like i have received something even more valuable during the entire eleven and half month process though - clarity.

Munesh said...

I have just been thinking that how we struggle to win by any means, hook or crook. If that is winning then losing is a better option. Happiness never always come form winning. Losing sometimes sheds our excess egoistic baggage and tends to purge our senses. any way money can but us only material happiness, true happiness comes out of compassion and love for others. What we warn is not ours. It has been given to us by the Almighty. What we give to others, is ours. As we can only give in the truest sense that is ours..